Image by Jennifer Chong
This is a tough article to write, but someone needs to write it.
It’s still early 2011, yet we have already seen a large number of disasters and global catastrophes occur. The latest – Japan’s earthquake, tidal wave, and subsequent nuclear meltdown (!) – being one of the worst ones ever.
Just like most other people watching this disaster unfold, I find this incredibly sad, depressing, and frightening. It’s difficult to comprehend the scale of damage, and the number of lives that have been either lost or severely affected by this tragedy.
And it sounds like the rest of the world is also sitting in disbelief, watching the horror unfold on their TV screens or in their web browsers.
On Facebook, Twitter, etc we have seen people posting links to news items on the disaster, as well as posting comments along the lines of “my heart goes out”, “sending my thoughts and prayers”, etc.
Of course, this is the same sort of behaviour that we see every time something awful like this happens.
But I’ve had enough of hearing these types of comments. And you should too.
Why?
BECAUSE IT DOESN’T ACTUALLY HELP THE PEOPLE IN NEED
You know it. I know it.
A friend of mine summed this up brilliantly:
“JAPAN NEEDS OUR HELP … They don’t need money. They don’t need food. They don’t need water. They need LOVE. They need SUPPORT. They need Positive Vibrations.”
This might sound like a slightly exaggerated statement to some, but it illustrates the underlying absurdity of “my heart goes out”-type statements.
There are only two options
The truth is, in global disasters of the kind we’re experiencing right now, there are really only TWO ways the average person can help:
1) Help in person
2) Donate money to support other people who are helping in person
That’s it.
There is no third option.
Sending “good vibrations” doesn’t make the cut.
Why?
BECAUSE IT’S A SELF-SERVING ACT
The only purpose of “my heart goes out”-type comments is to MAKE THE PERSON UTTERING IT feel better about not having to do anything more to help. It has no affect on anyone else.
The sub-conscious thought process of a person uttering this is basically:
“I’ve expressed my sympathy publicly, therefore I can pat myself on the back and go back to worrying about my mortgage repayments.”
It’s very similar to the whole “Slactivism” phenomenon, and I, for one, would like to see this kind of nonsense replaced by GENUINE ACTION THAT HELPS PEOPLE instead.
Time for action!
So I’m putting my money where my mouth is by making a direct donation to people who are assisting Japan. Every bit helps, and it’s the only one of the two options I can personally take.
I urge you to do the same, and I encourage everyone else who posts “my heart goes out”-type bullshit to actually do something more constructive … AND TAKE THEIR WALLETS OUT INSTEAD.
Yes, this is a harsh article. And it will probably make some people very uncomfortable … (most likely those very people who make “my heart goes out”-type comments and never do anything more…)
Does this make YOU feel uncomfortable?
Well then – TOUGH.
Hurting your feelings pales in comparison to those who are MUCH more uncomfortable right now … and those are the people who need our assistance. Sending out “good vibes” does not constitute “assistance”, and never will.
If you agree with me, please share this article with your friends and colleagues and do your bit to take one of the two actions mentioned earlier.
Rant over. Wozniak out. Thanks for reading.
About Adam Wozniak
Spot on Adam – couldn’t agree more.
To help turn thoughts into action :
Médecins Sans Frontières: http://www.msf.org.au/donate/
Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org.au/japan2011.htm
Yeah I’ve seen some pretty silly things being emoted on fb…
On the one hand, I hears ya. I have been particularly intrigued by the ‘promoted tweets’ re prayers and thoughts from the likes of Selena Gomez and Adam Levine, with no suggestion attached re practical actions people can take. Kind of don’t get that.
But in my more hopeful moments, I try to remember that there’s always the chance that some of these people are well-intentioned and have donated or are helping in some other way, they’re just not shouting from the rooftops about it – maybe because they don’t want to be accused of doing it ‘wrong’ somehow! It’s not necessarily the way I would go about it, and I’m sure some of them are indeed just douches, but hopefully not all…
Brilliant. Well stated. This sums up the entirety of my frustration with the “pray for japan” crap. Thank you for writing this breath of fresh honesty.
Great article, man. Really sums up the way I and countless others feel. Thanks!
Well, if I’m going through a bad time and then:
1. Loads of people send me messages saying their heart goes out to me.
or
2. None of my friends say anything
I know which one I would prefer.
Just sayin’
Personally, I’d prefer:
3. Having friends who offer to help directly. They’re the real friends.
Oh, and here’s a nice summary of places you can donate:
http://matadornetwork.com/change/how-to-help-the-earthquake-and-tsunami-victims-in-japan
@Tim, definitely 3 would be better, but the choice was between 1 & 2
If the answer is 1, then it’s not a useless thing.
Basically, I’d agree: action is more powerful and “useful” than words.
Now, playing the devil’s advocate, what about these cases?
1) “Happy birthday!”
2) “Best wishes for your speedy recovery.”
3) “Congratulations!”
4) “I’m sorry for your loss.”
5) “Send him my best regards.”
Would you also argue that these words don’t help anyone “in need”?
If we argue that these words carry no weight and don’t “help” anybody,
then we could answer as follows to the above:
1) “Thanks for nothing. Now, are you going to send me some money, cheapskate?”
2) “Yeah, too bad you aren’t here suffering with me, so you can feel my pain. Get lost, a-hole, or else buy me a new house, car and cat.”
3) “So what. I did it all on my own power, with no help from you, turd-eater.”
4) “Yeah, but you can’t do a damned thing about my loss so eat your words, put your tail between your legs and don’t come back again, loser.”
5) “He won’t give a damn if he gets your moronic ‘best’ or not, so put it where the sun don’t shine and don’t waste your breath.”
In an ideal world, we’d buy every single person we know a birthday present, give them money, or do something fantastic for them on their birthday; offer them food, clothing and shelter and a listening ear when they are in dire straits; throw a party for them personally when they are to be congratulated; and offer to be there every single day for moral support and encouragement for people who underwent a loss.
I’d totally agree that people need physical things, especially people who have been through a catastrophe of any kind, physical, psychological or otherwise. I can tell you that there have been times that I would have felt encouraged if someone was there when I was in need.
On the other hand, the fact is that there are people in the world who cannot “be” there; and even those people who are spreading their so-called “empty” well-wishes may actually be doing something tangible to contribute in their own way.
The bottom line is that it doesn’t seem to make sense to me to discourage or belittle people for trying to “send their best”. Granted, it doesn’t really “do” anything for anyone. But then again, some people do take some comfort in knowing that there is someone out there who actually gave a damn enough to write those lame words.
Who knows – that person who sends you those seemingly empty “thoughts and feelings” might actually care for you enough to do something “real” for you someday… or for that matter, you might actually develop feelings for them and do the same when they need it.
Just another take on an interesting post.
Interesting responses.
I think there’s a difference between sending ‘thinking of you’ twitter/facebook posts etc to the general and to the particular. My take on Adam’s article is that he is focusing on the ‘thinking of you’ type posts to the general (for example Japan or Christchurch) which are useless. The ‘thinking of you’ type posts to the particular (for example, your friend) are a different category. There is a difference between sending a ‘thinking of you’ to a particular person (who you know and who will read and may appreciate the one-to-one contact/gesture) and sending a ‘thinking of you’ to a country or group of people who will never read or take note of the ‘thought’ posted on facebook or twitter.
Action is needed for both the general and the particular in times of trouble. Sometimes though, sending a ‘thinking of you’ to a particular person is action. Never is sending a ‘thinking of you’ to the general action.
Seems this Japanese presenter appreciates “sending such positive thoughts”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzzodu64DIE (skip to 3:00)
yeah…and note 3:45 on that same video…
No one is denying that donations are not needed or not appreciated
At the end, she also talks about people being “uplifted” by watching the guy’s video. You could argue that it’s entirely because of the donations, but if people are that easily uplifted then they might as well watch the official stats on how much money is donated – probably a million times what this guy (who, I must add, is doing a superb job) can manage.
If someone had just posted a YouTube video simply saying – I donated $1000 to Japan – do you think people would be as uplifted?
i think some people are taking this way too literally……
the question isn’t whether you should announce that you’re sending your thoughts vs telling everyone how much you donated. i think the point here is that both are self-serving to an extent. both are about making the person making the announcement feel good about themselves. and that’s not what it’s about.
and it’s also sad that people need to be “uplifted” (either by a video, a benefit concert, a celebrity selling wrist bands, etc) before they even consider opening up their wallets.
It’s the people who are down who need to be “uplifted”. i.e. the people in Japan, not the would-be donors.
The entire point of this is that there’s something significant beyond mere financial donation. Would you not agree?